real

I have a porcelain doll
painted face and all
fragile and cold she is placed on a shelve
leaning on other knick nacks
she sits there, same face expression
everyday with big brown eyes
no heart
no start
people try to find her flaws
bend her arms
and see where she is most breakable
I know a porcelain doll

eye like you

I'm discovering something new

this ocean blue

sparkling,deep

i'd like to wade through the water

catch a ride on the two waves

deep blue

crash into you

if the tide pulls me in

i'd be alright

because this ocean current has me

in a tight hold

feeling weightless

unplugged

it feels like there is a concert going on in my head
sound after sound after scream after jump
and then comes the encore
the loudest part of the event
going on in my mind
filling every empty space with noise
its never ending
a never ending song
a continuous repetition
playing over and over
this mind is weary
but i'm in control
over and over again
i have the remote
i'm shutting this place down

tonight

may angels play their harps
may that lulling music fill the air
so we have a sense of placidity
a belonging tonight
aren't they fed up with watching over us?
having responsibility and trust
may I play a harp
may my lulling music fill the air
so they get to rest
drift away tonight
those guiding lights
need to heal tonight

soundless

that bird's wings have been clipped

no longer can it fly away off into the horizon

instead it sits perched on a tree branch

singing a song

so sweet, so long

so broken, so...

hushed

...so lost

is the bird

singing a song no other bird can hear

as it cries out one last tune

prays for a witness

the bird forgets

that its wings are clipped

jumps out of that tree

the bird is free

don't drop your arms

highs and lows
with me you'll always find your way home
i'm the map traveling on your back
you know me like the back of your hand
take my hand into yours
let your fingers fill the empty spaces between mine
we'll go through highs and lows together
i'll be your high when you're low
i'll never be far behind
when you come out from your cache
i'll be here with open arms
to guide you home
and we'll take the scenic route

I can't think of things to write about anymore

bridges are made for crossing over an obsticle that is preventing you

from reaching the other side

bridges collapse

bridges rust

bridges bust

one bridge has caution signs

all over it

go through at your own risk

one car doesn't want to detour

certain bridges aren't meant to be crossed

fixed

mended

so drive back home

but don't turn off your headlights

ready..set...GO!

i'm turning my four ways off
because for now on i'm living in the fast lane
i'm not turning back
i'm not speeding up
i'm going my way or the highway
and i'm only hitting the breaks at red lights
because everyone needs to stop once in a while
or pull over to a gas station
build up the energy again
then go go go
many ways to go with these directions
if an obstacle gets in my view
i'll run it over
because for now on its my way or the highway
nothing can slow me down

what is real, just a dream

how can i keep my happiness

when people are changing

nothing is staying the same

the world won't stop spinning
for just a few minutes

time won't stall

just so i can wrap my arms around someone
for a little longer

i need a sense of hope

a little less change

and a lot of what i want

it sounds selfish i know

but don't take it the wrong way

at times

i can only find peace

with a pencil in my right hand

a piece of paper infront of me

and sometimes that isn't enough

because nothing is staying the same

you can't

can you see me crying?

can you hear me?

can you?

can you feel me weaken?

can you see me?

can you?

why can't I find you anymore?

why don't you love me?

why are you hurting me inside and out?

can you see my pain?

can you show me what i'm doing wrong?

can you?

will you reach out and try to grab me?

when i'm gone

can you see me now?

can you?

I love you inside and out

at times i just want to jump into your arms

because i know you will catch me

at times i just want to take your hands and dance

because i know you will sway me along

hold me near

hold me close

i'll twirl with you in the twilight

to make you feel my love

on your parted lips

that will leave both of us breathless

that will leave both of our heads spinning

round and round

around love

3

when I don't hear anymore cars
drive past my window
and I see street lights
flickering on to guide someone
i'll hit the lights
and let the darkness hypnotize me
then i'll catch a glympse of him
i'll turn so I can see all of him
all of this curly haired boy
this dream has been replaced
by something a lot bigger
some kind of love story
that is still being written
so when I don't hear anymore cars
drive past my window
and I see street lights
flickering on to guide someone
i'll hit the lights
and think of you

summer chills

pinch me

pinch me I must be dreaming

this fantasy is turning into a nightmare

damned with terror

this sleepy life isn't going to be awakened

i'm tossing and turning

trying to find a way out

an emergency exit

to sprint to

I bet I passed it already

lets face it

i'm not the best explorer

i'm not the best me

and i'm certainly not the best you

show me what i'm looking for

tell me i'd like to know

why the same songs keep playing

on the radio

i'm never satisfied

I could have the earth

resting in my palms

and i'd still want mars and jupitar

I shaved my legs today

but I guess I missed some spots

I missed my satisfaction

guarenteed

thought bubbles

a python was chasing me
in my dream
through a parking garage
and i kept silently screaming
nothing was coming out of my mouth
the guy next to me
told me the snake wouldn't hurt me
but it bit me!
and i silently screamed
the guy stood still and didn't move
and i couldn't move either
the dream stopped
i continued to dream
another dream
i got into a fight with my friends
over a video game
and i tried yelling
but nothing came out
then my friends got quiet
and tears fell from my eyes
and everyone looked at me
i didn't have anymore
after those

what goes around comes around

eyes that have seen it all
don't mind
color
violence
romance
what color are those eyes?

hello ________ (< insert name here)

where did you go?
why did you leave?
and now do you see?
that tomorrow is just another day
you said so yourself
you know exactly what mood i would be in
after i ran those words through my mind
blank
i don't need a special day with you after all
i get enough of those at home
i love using sarcasm
and i love loving you
anyway
my world is starting to whirl
and i can't sustain much longer
i don't think i'm going to think
special days anymore

Con il nostro amore si possa volare per la luna

you hold something
of mine
that is hard to capture
never been grasped
by anyone but you
it fluttered by you
many times before
i hope you were anxious to catch it
as anxious as i was to let it fly into your reach
i don't want it to be released

if you see me walking..

i'm not walking to anywhere in particular
just taking a stroll
its dark
and i'm finding constellations in the sky
wondering what makes walking at night
so different from walking in the daylight
creepers drive by and stare
they take away my calmness
by pushing on the steering wheel
to make an obnoxious sound
enough to make you have a heart attack on the sidewalk
if you weren't aware they were going to make the sound
they laugh
i don't
i smile
i just found Orion

put a flower in my hair

do you see yourself?
we have plenty of mirrors
hanging up for show
hanging up to check your makeup
to check what's stuck in your teeth
you need to look at yourself
because you are wrong
in way that make it difficult to breathe
you are tearing me apart
just like dead rose petals
and i'll lay there
on the ground
until i'm lucky enough for the wind to carry me away
carry me away

find me the exit

you need to get away
away from here
going away
away
gone
you can travel by car
i know you don't like airplanes
i know you don't like ships
its all too exhilarating
for you
you don't get out all that much
how could you though?
you're handcuffed
to another person's wrist
and that person's other wrist is handcuffed too
handcuffed to a make believe world
a world that is thought up to be if you go away
for a while
you won't come back
when that person is forcing you to be close
all the time
its like putting a bandaid
on a gunshot wound
it doesn't work
it won't heal the pain

i like being in your arms

you are the most important piece
to my puzzle
that isn't puzzling me
you are the hint
to my everyday life
i don't really know
if its good or bad
i do know its true

a note from me to you

I picture footprints in the sand
water stretched across from forever to forever
I bet the ocean is so exhilarating that it steals your breath away
that can't be the only thing though
to see you walking along the beach
smiling with the sun shinning down on a guy
a guy that i thought couldn't look anymore like perfection in my eyes
if you're laying down looking at the stars tonight
i'll look up at the black sky filled with stars from my window
wishes coming from my heart floating to a star
wishing that the star i'm looking at is the same one you are looking at
not only connected by text messages
the stars above

i honestly don't know

live for the ones that want you around
breathe for the people who say they love you
everyone has cracks in their pavement
everyone has another person with the correct tools to seal them
no amount of words can push me away from you
you're fighting for me
i'm living for you

I spy a chance

I don't seem to be catching the entirely same wave as you
are you on the atlantic or the pacific?
i'm not on either to tell the truth
i'm on the arctic shivering
yearning for heat
please travel that long of a stretch
break my ice

i want out of here

jack & jill came from a town where peace seemed to replace air
jack & jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of happiness
jill came falling hopelessly down
down
rolling
rolling
down
& jack followed after
jack wanted to save jill
he wanted to heal her with all that he had
jill couldn't be saved ever
she wouldn't believe that she could be saved

i need/want/have you<3

images of buds blooming into gorgeous flowers are fading away
fireworks are disappearing in the night sky
the audience has finished applauding
candles got blown out
the stop button got pushed on a cd player
waves of the ocean finally settled
my heart hasn't
not for you

tornado brain

since when?
since who?
since me and you
since laying in your bed and just talking about life
since you teasing me on being short
since you walking with me to my locker at the end of the day
since playing your wii with you
since watching that 70s show together
since kissing you
since you comforting me at the movies while i freaked out
since telling each other our dreams
since giving each other advice
since us being together
since i first found out who you were
since i realized i love you

lets do the time warp again

just like that everyone left
gracefully flew away like angels
didn't bother to wave goodbye
they didn't have to
i didn't care
up up & away
little sets of wings fluttering away
each at a different beat
a different story
i hope they got a chance to tour the world
and sustained a love between an other
everyone left
it could have been anyone

yes sir

its bad enough that my smiles are uncontrolable
only near you
do you have to run a highlighter over my lips too?
pretty soon my smile is going to be brighter than the sun's rays
its all your fault you know
its all of your doing
completely you
which is completely fine with me

not a regular post by me

I'm at home sick with a sore throat & no voice. I would give anything to be at school right now. Not the kind of sick where you stay home & log onto myspace and put the status as "high" or "hangover" or whatever else preteens & teenagers think is the coolest thing to put. Be proud that you are screwing up your life & embarrassing yourself. Be proud that you are making fun of the people who don't touch alcohol or smoke (they are probably making fun of you twice as bad anyway). Be proud that you have a bad reputation at school. Whatever makes you happy is absolutely fine with me. This is my opinion. Everyone has one.

you are my lovey, the only one i want in my dreams

you give me a rush when i'm near you
i heart you
you make me feel so whole
i want you
you can always get a smile to stretch from cheek to cheek
i admire you
you made me fall inlove with you
i hope you understand how much i need you here tonight

subtract the two loving parents

i'm disgusted and disraught at you
at you
at you
for giving me roses and making me feel the thorns
i'm agitated and irritated
at you
at you
at you
for creating a thunderstorm without any rain
i'm angry and annoyed
at you
at you
at you
at you
just you

not exactly a disaster

you suggested that we should play hide and go seek
so you counted to ten
shut your eyes super tight
waited for me to hide
i searched around that whole playground
high and low
until my time was up and i had to choose hiding in a bush
i stayed there for more than ten minutes
what a great hiding spot!
after a while it got boring
frustrating
why was it so hard to find me?
i eventually had the will power to hop out of my hiding place
i noticed you were playing tag with your friends
so i decided to sit there in the bush
having hope someone would discover me

I need double A batteries for my flashlight

on the wall they dance
their dark costumes speak for themselves
controlled by their masters
they can go unseen
transform into whatever their hearts desire
almost perfection for them
not for me

my bridge is collapsing

it was pleasant outside today
you could really tell it was spring
kids were screaming and shouting
senior neighbors were complaining
the sun was brighter
the grass was warm and felt good between my toes
birds were outside singing their hearts out
robins hopped around looking for the right spot to peck at a worm
everything felt right
everything felt like spring
i'll give it until tomorrow
for it to
p
o
u
r

r
a
i
n
on my joyful parade

sing me a lullaby

why hello love!
we should get comfy
watch movies on the couch
drink tea and cover up with warm blankets
talk about the kind of day we had today
did you have your hopes up for something more fun?
well, we could always choose my favorite idea
we could make our dreams come true

read but don't weep

you are the annoying door stopper in my life
i push my door open when i am angry
and expect it to make a hole in the wall from the impact of the doorknob
nothing happens and nothing will happen to that wall unless you aren't there
you're stubborn and won't budge
someday i will learn how to use tools and remove you
until then you are my annoying door stopper

a black and white striped kinda love

what are up with those random things that show up in your life?
like sometimes I find loose pennies on sidewalks
i'll pick them up if they are head side up
you'll never get anywhere in life if you don't pick up chances
sweet memories of him also show up randomly
you're talking to him and the next thing you know you're like a prisoner
trapped in his beautiful eyes
and you know he isn't going to let you free for a while

you aren't my teddy bear

lets scream obnoxiously throughout the halls
have friendly conversations
i'll give you a pencil to borrow or two if you happen to lose the first one
and we can ask each other for a pieces of gum
just don't touch me
ever

do you ever stop to smell the roses?

I hated the loud trumpet that made your eardrums ring in the morning
when you would hope to wake up before everyone else to see the sunrise over the lake
you couldn't
because of the birds that made their disgusting mess on the window
I didn't like the pebbles that would sneak into my shoes unexpectingly
or being the last group to eat the homemade ice cream because some jerk ruined it for us
everyone dyed their shirts at camp rainbow
red
orange
yellow.. you get the picture
I on the other hand dyed it green and pink
two colors that don't really blend that pretty together
but I was trying to make a point

i want to learn that one magic trick

sunday is far from wednesday
same with spring and fall
far away yet so distant
up to the point where you're so close
if you grabbed someone's hand you'd be at the target
too bad there is no other hand reaching out for you to pull you in
too bad so sad

flicking the rain switch on & off

ssssssshhhhhhhhhhoooooooouuuuuuutttttttttt!
there's a riot outside
with moshing and pitchforks
all that good stuff
baseball bats
eggs being cracked open
eggs onto my windows
egg after egg!
yay! a celebration for me!
they are chanting my name in accurate synchrinization
i'm going to go join the crowd
don't know when i am going to be returning
goodbye!

e flat clarinet not soprano

take my temptations away

far away

into the sunset

to burn up into oblivion

sweet lyrical thoughts

to the ending day

until tommrrow that is

when they come rushing back

returning to home sweet home

my cluttered head

brown wood

all my dvds are stacked on the shelf in my room
untouched, collecting dust
such lonely little discs
"watch me! i have a hot celebrity actor in me!"
"no! no! no! no! goodness no! watch me! i have pirates in me!"
"shut up! you two!... watch me! i am a christmas special!"
....i'm sane!
just bemused

sometimes i wish that i was the weather you'd bring me up in conversation forever

how do they get the sticky on the tape?
how do you know when someone is lying to you?
how are you?
answer the questions
but keep the answers to yourself
my memorybank is full
not wanting any new wasteful memories that aren't important
i like the ones i have stored now
the ones that i don't want to lose a tight hold on
all i have to do is keep pushing the rewind button
i don't have a craving for popcorn right now
thanks though

leave

shoo thoughts!
don't bother me
you annoying little pests
always get me
leaving me with annoyance
and guilt for squishing you
get out of my head
get some fresh air

exchanging words

"could you..maybe...possibly..teach me how to fly?"

"why?"


"so i can go far away never to return again"


"no i will not"


"fine will you teach me how to swim?"


"depends... why?"

"so i can swim so far enough to the point that i'll get really tired and drown, never to be found again.."


"..sorry the answer is no again"


"damnit!.. what will you teach me how to do then?"


"to have hope"

cradle me in a crater

once upon a time
i was a little girl
seat belt tight in the backseat
driving around town "just to get some fresh air" my mom would say
getting my little girl hopes up thinking one day i'll drive too
but that's not my reason for writing this
i'm not going to ramble about sitting in a car
..in the backseat
when i used to look to the sky
out of the car window
pitch black sky over my city
i'd see the bright moon
following my mother and i in her vehicle
my mom would be talking to me about who knows what
but i didn't pay attention much..
all i wanted to think about was that moon following us
i wanted to know how it could do that
i felt so lucky because i thought that it only followed us
no one else
when the ride would finally end
mother would unbuckle me and walk towards the house
while i stood there outside pondering at the still moon high above me
"until tomorrow my friend" i would whisper
then skip towards the house with my innocent little face
no care in the world
besides always wanting that moon to be there
up high above me
by my little side

curiosity killed the cat

..Is it wrong?
to keep starring into your deep brown eyes?
would I stop?
should I?
..could I?

tissue stealer

look to your right and three chairs down
a little girl with bouncy blonde curls
starring at her grandfather's casket
with her glassy eyes and red face
trembling and scared sitting down on a chair
swinging her short legs freely
with her hair ribbon falling out slightly
everything is going to be okay little one
keep your head up high
don't show me those tears
your too beautiful to have them running down your face
would you be terrified if i came over and hugged you tight?
a stranger with the same glassy eyes as you

hola

i realize that all couples have their spazzes
all couples argue
bitch at each other
get jealous over the most stupid things
have their bad days
and their really bad days
days that they want to shoot one another
but in the end all the fights fit together to form something strong
like a quilt
a quilt being stiched up again and again
becoming stronger with patterns of memories
memories that quilt will hold for years and years to come
soft and warm like our hearts
no matter how many times you rip a quilt
you can always sew it back up
no matter how many fights i get into with you
i'll always want to hold your hand

"If you live to be a hundred i want to live to be a hundred minus one so i never have to live a day without you" -pooh

i popped a quarter into the sticker machine today
i was hoping to get a winnie the pooh sticker with pooh holding honey
just for you
i know how much you adore winnie the pooh
out popped the sticker i wanted
it was like fate took over the sticker bubblegum machine
i'm planning on giving it to you tommrrow morning
i didn't tell you yet
so its a surprise
shhh!

ya'll

you asked me
a question
today
it made me tilt my head to the side
"do you have second thoughts on your ex?"
i was trying to think of the right way to answer it
running certain words through my head that would fit
answering your question
i didn't have a chance to tell you on my computer
it froze
or my cellular piece of crap
it blacked out
i'm answering your question
right here
right now sweetheart
no i do not have any second thoughts
not now
not tommrrow
or all the days that take place after tommrrow
i want you and only you
no one else in the school or on the planet
can change that
no matter how hard they attempt
i love you and only you
i don't want to write a whole book
nor a whole poem
i'm just going to stop typing words now
because no amount of words can explain to you how much i love you
cheezyness indeed
the truth? you betcha

argh i'm a pirate

smiling, smiling, smiling
grinning
laughing
it seems thats all i have been doing
one long week of joy
no tears of hurt painting my cheeks
tears of happiness, yes
and nothing but it
i smile everytime i see you
i smile everytime you hug me
i smile after you kiss me in the hallways at school
i love the look on your face like you want more
i smile at my thoughts "wait until later cutie!"
i smile because of your accomplishments
I smile because of your jokes
I smile especially at the thought of being with you
I love you sums it up
why
I
smile

midnight sky crayon

while i sleep i dream
with you
with me
a dream with your adorable smile
a dream where your holding me tight
a dream of love and nothing but it
a dream of security
a dream with your gentle, kissable lips
a dream of your lulling heartbeat
a dream hearing your gratifying voice
this dream isn't only when i'm asleep
this dream is also when my eyes are open
with you
with me

<3uoyevoli

i wonder what your thoughts are
all locked up in your head
while we lay here keeping each other warm
its snowing outside
mother nature recognized a day for romance
falling asleep in your secure arms
hugging you in this warm bed
your hugs captivate me
i love for that one instant i'm the girl
your holding tight
and no one else
can come between us.

lovely?

the thudding of your heart almost sings a song
i lay my head on your jukebox
to take a better listen
it's playing a fast rap song
i look up at you and you just give me that warm, familar smile
i'll never get tired of seeing it
your jukebox switches songs
sllllooooooowwwwsss
d
o
w
n
into a lullaby

a penny for your thoughts

..who are you?
can you even see me?
through the darkness of night
its really foggy outside
being alone, looking at a stranger scares me
i'm scared
i want to shout your name
i wish i knew it
all i can see are your eyes
..well one eye atleast
glowing like the stars
..ha get it?... starry eyed.
..this is no time for joking around though
i want to move farther out to you
my legs unfortunatly won't make any movement
wouldn't it be great if there was water surrounded all around me? like i was a little island?
so then you could throw a life saving device out to me and pull me into you
will you move closer?
i don't bite
i'm sure you don't either
i wish you weren't a stranger to me
i'm sure you wish that i wasn't a stranger to you
you're so tall!
..and skinny
i wish i was like that too
stranger you are so lucky
you look so confident and full of no worries or fear
just standing there straight with perfect posture
although i wish you would stop winking your eye
its giving me a headache

clap like thunder

I'm sitting on the patio in front of my home
grasping green chalk in my right hand
with the bucket of sidewalk chalk within arms reach of me
i wish i had a clue of what to draw
but so many things are green
trees,grass,cucumbers,frogs
green green green
hmm...
ooo! i have an idea!
...uhh...
....hmm...
..?..
i lost it.
i feel like my mind has a few gliches in it sometimes
like i should be remembering more and saying more
am i normal?
i hope so...
i need a mood ring
because i could tell what my mood is right now
i honestly have no clue.
remember how i said i think my mind has a few gliches?
well...uhm... darn! i lost it again..
i'm not getting very far on my drawing
in fact.. i didn't even start...
well that does it!
i'm staying here until my drawing is a complete masterpiece!
even if i have to stay out here until the moon takes the sun's place in the sky
..in that case i need to start pronto!
now i know what to draw!
a....
a...
....
ugh! there goes my poor mind again!
..NOW I KNOW WHAT TO DRAW!
a mind!
a brain.. with a functioning mind!
if only i could cut that part of the pavement off
and switch brains
so i could have a wonderful mi-...uhh...

I want it to be warm enough to wear flip flops.

I sit around
watching them, waiting
waiting to say something
wanting to hear my own voice
longing to belong
when the time comes
when I have an opening, a chance
.......*chatter* *giggle* *whisper* *talking*
i'm back waiting again
watching

forgive me if i st-stutter from all of the clutter in my head

theres a room i'm in full of people,its very crowded
I feel sorry for anyone in here that is clausterphobic
there are people sitting on top of one another people sitting on the floor
even people standing I mean I would be too who wants to sit on a dirty floor?
they're chatting away
some whispering
some yelling
some even crying
and most talking in a normal tone
I observe couples,siblings,and friends
I wish I had music to block out the noise i'm not used to it really
a nurse strolls in and calls out a name
I didn't hear it the first time but even if it was me I really didn't care
I hate doctors and doctors hate me I don't cooperate well
"Tracy" she calls out for a second time
the woman gets up and follows after the nurse into the hallway
one person gone means one seat up for grabs good thing I already have a seat
i'm getting disgusted at the smiles and laughter of people so I look at my shoes instead
I have really small feet
if there was a small feet contest around my little town I would deffinatly be a champ
a little toddler comes up to me and starts playing with my shoelaces
I smile
I have a little friend someone who actually wants to talk to me
well in this case play with my shoelaces but I bet in a toddler's mind it deffinatly means something
"Maddie! come over here right now! and don't bother that girl she looks upset!"
I give the mother a half smile
and then I turn my head and smile at the little girl I look at my shoes and reach down to tug on a shoelace thinking she would understand that it meant "thanks for trying"
I wish my seat was near to the window so I could look at the clouds and cars drive by
so I wouldn't have to look like some idiot trying to bury her face in her knees
you know how some songs have the lyrics "how do you feel so alone in a crowded room?"
or something similar to that?
well I have the answer right here...
its pretty damn easy.

I wish happiness could hang from trees like apples.

my darling,



always



when the whole entire world turns their back toward you i'll be there showing my front side



alway



when you have no more tears left to shed i'll cry for you



alwa



when you need a hand i'll give you two



alw



when you feel like you have lost all hope i'll be there with a flashlight



al



when everyone else sees through you i'll wear 10 times magnifying glasses

a

when no one will even give you a greeting i'll be there shouting "I LOVE YOU"


my darling,